01 February 2008
ghosts of my past
last night i made a quick run to Wal*Mart to grab some generic brand NyQuil® for English. i got some bananas a flour and stuff like that too. it was pretty slow at the check out counters so i could have picked any lane. i was headed for lane 2 when the '10 Items or Less' cashier caught my eye and said 'i'm open'. now, this cashier happened to be one of my previous students... a student who basically missed the final and as a result earned a lousy grade in the class. but i wasn't going to let that bother me. as she was scanning my sensitive toothpaste and bagging my Fruity Cheerios we talked awkwardly about school and Ash and other things, and by the time i was pushing my cart by the 'goodbye greeter' i felt like a total jerk. as i drove home i tried to console myself by recounting the events of that final two semesters ago - how she showed up after it was pretty much over and so on - but it didn't help. all i could think of was her working the night shift at Wal*Mart and i felt really bad. so...why?
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4 comments:
Aw, don't feel too bad. Well, I would probably feel the same way, so maybe I shouldn't say that. She probably worked the night shift at Walmart before she missed your final. She probably felt more stupid than you did.
You want to think that students have nothing better to do than study for or attend your classes (and by "your" I mean all the college teachers I know, which is at least 3, my husband included) and when you see them outside of class you have the realization that they have other things in their life. That being said, she should feel bad for missing your final!
I once had a professor who met a past student several years later. The student had recieved a bad grade in the glass (which he probably deserved). The professor felt so bad he went back and changed the grade, even though it wouldn't really make a difference. Not that you should do that. I just thought it was a funny story.
Feeling bad is just a part of being a good person. You gave the grade she earned, but that doesn't mean you didn't care about her life. Hopefully, she's really into something positive (even if it isn't art) and can make the most of that.
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