when were you in Vegas last?

i've only been to Las Vegas twice: once, at the tender age of twenty as a side note to a Lake Mead waterskiing trip with my family, and the second time - two weekends ago, as a novice scooter enthusiast (more on this in a minute). i learned a lot about myself and Vegas on this second trip. for one thing, i was able to nail down why Las Vegas is not on my 'A' list for vacation spots (mainly this cycle of feelings: excited, overwhelmed, flabbergasted, empathetic, depressed, disgusted - enter a night's sleep here - and the cycle just repeats itself perhaps with some variation). i also realized that on that first trip my Dad knew that all Vegas buffets were not created equal and that is why he took us to the Reserve hotel/casino/buffet more than once. but on the bright side, i discovered that the best way to see Vegas is on a moped, and thanks to our generous friends and their connections, English and i buzzed around on a borrowed (but brand new) red PGO scooter.

now, i'm by no means a good specimen of a true scooter junkie, but i hung out with a few and i took the chance to do some studying up at the 2006 Vegas Rally. first, at the Shine N' Show i saw scooters of every color and condition (the same can be said for the riders and their hair). there were Vespas and Stellas and Fellas and stuff. it was quite a sight.



i feel like i should mention here that on the way to the Shine N' Show we had to do a u-turn and i crashed us into the median (with English riding on the back my center of gravity was thrown off). fortunately, the scooter suffered little to no damage and no one was around to snap a photo of my spasm. i'm also glad English has longer legs than me and was able to manage the scooter with much more ease. needless to say, he drove us around from then on as we cruised down the highways of Vegas, catching the gaze of many a-passer by.



like a bunch of punks with backstage passes we scooted up next to the roller coaster at the NASCAR casino (yes, that's right) and we got a clear, unimpeded shot of the Bonanza Gift & Souvenir shop (i've heard it's the world's largest) as a backdrop for this photo of our friends. lucky ducks!



the idea was to ride all together with every stinking scooter from the rally to Hoover Dam and back. but fate had another plan. a series of events involving a scooter wreck (thankfully no one in our party), Burger King, and some poor directions left us discussing our options in the parking lot of Walgreen's.



fortunately the ride wasn't a bust. quite the opposite. we ended up on a hill at the far end of town looking down on the city and the giant storm that was rolling in. it was like a dream. then we realized we had to go back into town (and therefore the giant storm) so we made no delay.



it only drizzled a bit as we crawled along the Strip with the hundreds of other folks making their way into town to spend, spend, spend. it was then that i was reminded of the sad and sorry face Las Vegas wears in the daylight. "pay no attention to that man behind the curtain." poor little clown.



yes, it's a stark and ugly truth. Vegas depends on that beautiful contrast of light and dark like Ashlee Simpson depends on the right camera angle. it's the sad reality. i'm not judging though. i really can't. see, i'm a product of the neon industry. my grandpa Jones worked for YESCO when Freemont Street (now considered 'old town' Las Vegas) was all the rage. the friendly, welcoming cowboy... yep. that's his work. so while the business of eye candy runs in my blood, and friends have a way of making 'America's playgound' more than just a mess of poor taste, i've decided that i prefer to consume Las Vegas in repeat screenings of Ocean's Eleven. thanks just the same!