19 April 2011

we've taken up smoking cigarettes

or at least our house smells like we have.

see, last Sunday i started a pot of black beans cooking on the stove (you can already see where this is going). they were dry beans so they needed to soak, sit, then simmer for a good four hours. i was being really efficient and i got them started well before church so they would only need an hour or so more once we got home.

church went well (Tom sat on and mushed a dried blueberry all over the church pew but that was manageable). i taught lesson #14 in gospel doctrine that went well and enjoyed watching a clip of "The Windows of Heaven" in relief society. as i was getting the kids into the car to head home a red flag went up: i forgot to turn off the beans before we left!

on the way home i was scanning the sky for plumes of smoke. however, it had all stayed in the house; there was about three feet of smoke hovering throughout the whole house when i opened the door. holy. smokes. Batman.

fortunately it was a windy day and the smoke cleared out in just a few minutes. but the smell remains. only now, instead of smelling like charred beans, it smells like cigarettes. i'll admit, cigarette smoke can be kind of nice sometimes since it reminds me of traveling outside the country, and i've had a lot of good times traveling. but we're going on 48 hours with this smell now despite my efforts with fans, baking soda, air fresheners, laundry, more baking soda, more laundry - not to mention all of our windows are open all day. now it's less of a charming-hotel-in-Paris smell and more of a smoking-guest-room-at-the-Days-Inn smell. i'm kind of on the brink of tears. okay, that's too dramatic, only it's true.

i have tried everything!

i just made some bread so at least now it smells like fresh bread and cigarettes. care for a glass of wine and some cheese? i just may.

8 comments:

Janice said...

So sorry. Brilliantly written.

Josette said...

oh man, this is just no good. i am so sorry. i get the same way when i cook something in the famous crock pot and the smell lingers for a couple of days...i hate it. you'll have to move...i hear SLC is pretty nice this time of year.

Sblogger said...

Um did you try potpourri in a pan on the stove? The old fashioned Scentsy? Put water, orange slices, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves in a pan and let it simmer for a while. Maybe it will help. (just don't burn it). :) Good luck with that Kel! I also have heard that SLC is a nice place to be!

jo said...

After I finished a good laugh, I decided I must post comment. This was a great post, and I'm really feeling your pain.

Can I commiserate? I was being ultra-efficient one day and burned a pan of rice. No layers of smoke, but a definite lingering smell that had me throwing open the windows and "freshing" everything in sight.

Love the post.

ash said...

Oh no! What a pain-ola. I guess this is one of those instances where time will solve it all. At least your smoking habit isn't costing you much. I hear a pack can be quite expensive. Here's to some fresh air and kicking the habit.

Heather said...

Kelly, you are so funny.
I have no advice to lose the smell. I don't get why it smells like cigarettes, but I hope it's not the most stinky kind that those Frenchies would roll and smoke. Those are the worst! Good luck.

cate said...

Invite a scare a skunk in your kitchen - too bad ol' Geezer isn't around to stink out the stink:)

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